Mine was an 80 page spiral notebook. It was yellow. I got it because the only other colors left were red and green. There was only one yellow.

I filled it with my self important scribbles. I felt so smart being able to control the words as they were written down. It was like I could rewrite my life and make it something better.

I decided to write an autobiography. Then I read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings while writing about how unfair it was that I had change my new born brother's diapers. It didn't really measure up. If the most I had to deal with was changing diapers and dealing with the heat of a Mobile summer, then I couldn't write an autobiography. Compared to Maya Angelou, my life wasn't anything special.

But, I wrote in it anyway.

There was a time when I hated everything. I hated my life. I hated my mom. I hated my sisters and brothers. I hated where I woke up each morning. I even hated the smell of outside. I especially hated the sounds of my teachers. I hated them telling me what I had to do to be good and I hated them telling me how I should behave. I hated the way they managed to snowball my parents into thinking I was wrong and they were right. I hated my parents for believing them over me. I truly hated everything.

But, I wrote it all down.

One time I thought writing every good thing I had ever seen on TV in a cohesive story would fix my life. Its embarrassing and it sucks to know just how uncool and unoriginal I was. But, at one time, I believed in the stuff I wrote in my journal. I knew the stuff I wrote wouldn't come true. But, I believed that if I wrote it I could make it happen. Or, at least make things a little bit better.

It wasn't until I reached my angst-ridden years that I discovered it could be a real release to write my thoughts down in a journal. Man, I really hope no one ever gets a hold of those notebooks. I mean me writing fanfic using the two kinds of Voltron as my source material was one thing. But, me talking about those really uncomfortable hormonal-induced moments of adolescence must never reach the surface.

A journal is that thing that makes you feel completely whole. Or, it can be that thing that makes you realize just how empty you are. A journal is personal. Plenty of people publish their "journals" online. And maybe some of them are real deal hard core. I just know that a journal I keep is for my eyes only. A journal can help me organize my thoughts or deal with the crap of my day. It can help me understand myself and my perceptions of those around me.

All because I wrote it all down.

Journaling is a habit I formed early, before I knew what journaling was. At the time I started, I thought I was writing stories and then I would end up writing something about me. The journals became more and more about me. I have kept a journal for more than 22 years now. Its the best habit I have ever formed.

So, why all this talk about journals? Well, as you must be aware by now, the Oasis Youth Shelter is always looking for donations. The best and easiest donation you could possibly make is that of a journal. These are kids who have real problems in their lives. These are kids who need an outlet. So, I would like to make a goal of donating 400 journals to the shelter.

I have added a modest journal to the wish list. The journals are included in the matching program as well. So for everyone you send, I will send one. I have gotten the ball rolling by purchasing 10 today. Lets see if we can get these kids journaling and reading.

In the meantime, tell me about your journal experiences. What was your first one like? Have you kept up with it? How long have you kept one?